Anger Inside Me- Revelations On Taming The Wild Beast

Anger flares up, out of nowhere at the most irrational things.

I AM standing in my Hapkido class, the instructor (also my husband) grabs my arm expecting me to execute a technique and escape his grip. Anger BURSTS inside my chest!

Being a seasoned feelings witnessor I notice that I wish to throw myself down and curl up, screaming! I want to give up, blame the instructor and express loathing and contempt.

WOW, what an amazing reaction to have to NOTHING. I choose to do martial arts, in fact I LOVE it. And once I push past my initial reactions and do a few techniques I am happy as a larry again! (this happens a lot btw, but I'm working on it!!)

I can only put my my reaction down to early programming, possibly something like- 'DO THIS RIGHT OR ELSE.'
The early expectation to achieve and please programming (done inadvertantly by our parents, teachers, religion) seems to lie at the root of a spectrum of human disorder.

We are so naive and eager to please when the programming takes place, we are certain it is possible to meet these expectations. We believe everything our BIG GODS say (there may be a connection to our personal perception of a creator and our relationship with our parents.....but that's another story) so we assume it is possible to fulfil the unrealistic expectations of others. We feel a sense of betrayal by our SELVES and by our parents when it becomes clear that the task is impossible. Following the betrayal is deep hurt and sadness.

When our sadness is left to fester unexpressed and unaknowledged  it becomes resentment and finally bursts out in anger.

Anger is debilitating. Some say it is motivating but I question anger as motivation. The sense of justice that may be there anyway might motivate but anger is a very firey beast and where there is fire there is smoke and smoke clouds vision.

Anger is a painful expression of energy that serves to unbalance the individual, disallowing clarity necessary for solution orientated thinking.

If the body responds in anger then it is an indication that there is an investment or attachment at play. Likely, the attachment is to an unresolved incident from your past rather than an attachment to the actual situation before you now.

People use anger to justify their own bad behaviour and attempt to gain dominance in the moment.
Mostly we are expressing anger at things and situations of which we are completely guilty ourselves.
We bark at dogs to 'SHUT UP!' and then wonder why they bark back!
We bully children into submission- do this or else...and we wonder why our playgrounds are full of bullying.
We feel that if we are able to quieten another's opinion with our anger or threat (anger) then we are justifying our position.

Anger is a protective instinct associated with times of hard living, hand to mouth, ensuring survival in physically challenging conditions.Once upon a time warning sounds or actions that have since got out of hand and become a measure of our sanity.

I know that on a day when I am nourished, hydrated, have had sleep and feel good, my kids can throw most anything at me and I will not be phased.
Have me wake up on the wrong side of the bed, however, forget to nourish and hydrate myself I can soon find myself spiralling into emotional neglect. Anger will take this opportunity to leach into my interactions, making the easy situations of yesterday seem provocative and insurmountable today.

Anger is UNresolved childhood attachments attempting to break free and causing havoc in the process.
Anger needs the guidance of an unconditionally loving parent (you now).

The anger you see everywhere about you, creating terrorism, from the miniscule to the major, is the same fire and emotion that YOU feel when you have forgotten to be centred in the now, when you are breathing shallowly instead of nourishing your body with oxygen and calm, connecting completely to your inner power.

To TRULY live NOW and reach your potential as parents, educators, lovers, workers and friends you MUST address your anger. Acknowledge the feelings as they arise and neutralise the emotional triggers by breathing and forgiving.

The willingness to feel the sadness underneath the angry reaction is paramount, loving the self, caring for the self, forgiving the self and others for your past.

Detach from yesterday, find your space in the now, become aware and let your anger dissolve in the AWESOMENESS that is your life


EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique is excellent for neutralising emotional triggers that cause anger http://www.emofree.com/

To find out how to develop emotional intelligence in your child or classroom please go to http://www.theiamprogram.com/

To learn more about Anger and it's societal ills please check out Sean's easy to understand and compelling podcast at http://www.iamspirituality.com/

Worry and Fear- Does it Block True Compassion?

When I am in a state of worry, am I centred in the now with a clear mind and a calm spirit?
The answer is a resounding NO!

Is it possible to truly connect with another being or situation if you are in the past regretting or in the future worrying? NO again!

Being somewhere other than here and now makes it impossible to be soulfully and emotionally connected.

You need energy to care but energy is being used to soothe the ego as it clings desperately to morbid fears and flounders in a sea of self-absorption.

True compassion comes from a courageous and in depth exploration of the personal value system in relation to the external world.

For example- My child is using bullying tactics to manipulate another into behaving as he/she desires.
I can attempt to address the situation as it stands, in ways familiar and comfortable to me, ie- stand over my child and explain the ins and outs of bullying and tell them not to and even yell a bit, possibly with little or no lasting success. (This is how things are generally done!)

OR

I could take the time to examine my life for moments when I have used bullying tactics and manipulation. I can ask myself 'What motivated me to act in this way?' I can explore my judgements around this behaviour, on myself and others. I can see that we ONLY do what we know until we know something more or better, until we discover another way to be! AND then I can approach my child with my new understanding. I can sit down and explain, I can access humility. My child can see and hear and FEEL my integrity and changes begin to miraculously happen!

This idea can be successfully applied to many a context; social, global and personal.

If I am going on about the state of terrorism in the world...'OH the VIOLENCE....THOSE PEOPLE' and then turning around in the next minute from my comfy lounge and hissing at my partner, I am NOT exhibiting true compassion for the global situation I am using/displaying 'False' compassion to make my ego feel important and look like it cares, when in fact it is simply relieved that there is stuff going on in the world that supports it's own inner turmoil!

Ooooh what a tangled web we weave!

If I look at the violence on tv and I think back on my life, acknowledging my own violent attitudes, my racial prejudices and my motivation for these values- re-frustration at not being heard, fear of not being good enough and WORRY for my ego/identity's survival. I will have a humility and an understanding that will make me a true advocate for peace. I will cease to judge so harshly and thus extend clarity of mind into effective solution making and true, helpful compassion. (plus I go on to teach by example all those I then encounter...... seems worth it to me!)

When I am worrying I am giving into a wounded ego. An EGO fraught with the fear of non-existance!

It is interesting to me the lengths we go to support our identity; I AM ARNA and the things I worry about are- my finances, my health, my children, my relationship, my world...etc Lots of 'My's' and 'I's' in that sentence. More than enough worries to keep me cloudy and out of the loop!

Allowing myself to release my attachment to the future and of non-existance, stands me in much better stead to EXIST in a substantial way with true compassion and a YUMMY DOSE OF INTEGRITY!

Yeehah!

To learn about developing emotional intelligence in your children please go to
The I AM Program http://www.theiamprogram.com/

To learn MORE about how to de activate your ego's control in regard to Worry and Fear please visit
I AM Spirituality http://iamspirituality.com/wordpress/

WE CAN CHANGE AND BE HAPPY!

I AM Japan- Embracing The Reflection

My heart aches as I watch the mothers, the fathers, the clinging and the rubble.

Compassion extends as the old men weep and the children's big eyes look at a civilisation teetering on the edge of collapse.

Who am I? I ask myself in the midst of such devastation, I AM Japan.

I AM an Earth bucking and moaning under the weight of an evolving consciousness.

I AM millions of years of unconscious slaughter, of lacksadaisical raping and pillaging of denegration and retribution.

I AM witness to an overturning and an emptying  I AM witness to the mass agreement of change.

NO Blame.

I AM that I AM

Willing to grow, willing to change, willing to be free

My intention is evident in my reflection

I AM Japan

Grow A Brain- Making The Conscious Choice To Take Command of Your Life!

GROW A BRAIN!

Guess what, we actually can, do and are right now!

Cognitive development doesn't have a cut off point, believe it or not.

I could pretend that my thoughts and intentions do not matter and give over to the slow decrepidation of the soul that occurs upon abdicating my opportunity to grow positive neurological pathways in my brain.

BUT NO it is far too exciting, the forever journey of expansion, for me to turn a blind eye to my power.

The most riotous comedy of all is that even if I CHOOSE to reduce my conscious awareness by putting no time or thought into it I would still be growing a brain, just not the sort of brain that can make a genuine difference to human life. I would be growing a brain that would do little more than maintain the status quo.

I am not convinced that to offer support to the status quo is either a safe or responsible thing to be doing when we have so much latent power within us. When we have the ability to grow brains that will shoot this earthly experience into an exciting and healthy future!

The health of our future as a global consciousness aside, there is of course personal health to consider.

By letting our thoughts run wild we pose great risk to our physical well being

Research shows that fear, of anything, triggers more than 1000 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones.

The chemical waste generated by negative thinking lends cause to dis-ease in the body. 

Here are four simple ideas to consider:

1. Understand that thoughts are real and have actual anatomy
   Thoughts are real things: they have a structure in your brain and occupy space. Thoughts are the same as memories. Thoughts and memories look like trees and are called neurons or nerve cells.
2. Increase conscious awareness of your thoughts and how you are feeling upon having the thought..
   Become a witness to your own thoughts, ask yourself: is this good for me?  Conscious awareness of your thinking can become like a habit. A habit takes twenty-one days to create. Start today!
3. Take action once you have noticed and examined the thought.This means consciously accepting or saying YES to the thought (if it is good for you) or rejecting it/turning away from it (if it is bad for you). Thoughts only have as much control as we choose to allow them.
4. Grow your new brain.
   Deciding to accept or reject a thought is changing the neural circuitry of your brain: Make no mistake, your brain is growing while you think and you have control over the process.

Acceptance of a thought and concentration upon it and the emotions that it triggers will increase the positive structures within your brain making it easier and easier to go to a healthier and more optimistic place. Through pointing your attention and energy in this direction you will achieve clarity of mind, peace in the body thus promoting innovation and happiness.

The thoughts you choose to reject, upon realisation that they cause emotions that reduce wellbeing and create dis-ease will be converted into harmless energy and released. 

So with all this freshly reverberating, while your tongue is tingling and your toes are twitching, hop to it and GROW A BRAIN!

Regret- Examining The Distraction and Letting Go

REGRET

Is regret real or is it a smokescreen?

Hmmm...regret feels real, smells real and it can completely paralyse the mind. But is it what we think it is?

If I am in the state of ‘regret’ I am in the past I am mulling over the how’s and why’s of what happened and trying to change it in my mind, with my mind.

I am under a FALSE impression that if I examine the situation hard enough, if I put x amount of energy into the cause of the feeling I am having now, I will finally eradicate this feeling and bring peace to my mind and body.

I would like to put forward the notion that we are feeding an addiction to a number of things when we wallow in REGRET.

Distraction...Spending time in the past or for that matter the future is a distraction from the present where ALL things happen.

We are avoiding success and happiness by regretting our past actions and worrying about future possibilities.

In avoiding the present we are also avoiding something integral to an emotionally functional society - ‘connection’.

True connection/ fearless intimacy enables natural cognitive function and mind expansion- solution to ‘problems, awareness/intuition, telepathic ability , command of personal energy extending to and including the health of global consciousness.

Why do we avoid success, happiness and connection? Because of a confusion and a forgetting. BECAUSE we have developed the insane notion that to embrace our full potential means more work....if we give in to our truest self we become responsible for our lives, we can’t pass the buck to our government, our god or our parents anymore. Furthermore we give up the role of victim.

HaHa!  Could the role of successful, happy and connected being  REALLY be tougher than the role of regretful, dis-easeful victim....? I don’t think so.

 Then there is DRAMA...the feeling of intensity and excitement...the burst of hormonal activity that accompanies the reliving of a tale...because let’s face it....the memory is subjective...very little of what you may be replaying actually happened. ..it is a fable, a tale, a fantasy...challenging? 

.....AH should I be a little more polite and say little of what you are rehashing happened as your memory perceives it to have happened. So not only are you placing yourself back in the past thus avoiding the now you are constantly adjusting the scenes to give you the biggest hit!

Why do we love the drama? Well we are creative, intense and exciting beings and we think there is no drama in peace and happiness....maybe  not, maybe ‘drama’ is a self perpetuating horror movie (surely this becomes boring after a while!)

 MAYBE we are confusing the desire for drama with the desire to create, connect, experience and command the emotions of God/life/energy.

We all do this stuff and we do it and we do it..... UNTIL we decide not to. Until we make a choice to try something different, to make a break for it....to dive through the gap and make the deepest intention to bring ourselves back to the now.

Sure acknowledge the past and the feelings that it has brought in for you, feel it heal it and come back! HEY don’t keep on into the future you slippery devil, BACK!!  HERE and NOW!

There is a process that occurs in the brain and body at the moment a ‘regretful’ action takes place. A confirmation of a failed expectation if you will; we have an image of the self and what is expected of us based on the values we learned as a child and throughout our lives.  This is a strict idea and we can rarely satisfy these expectations.

Herein dwells the idea that we must be a ‘good’ person, follow this set of rules and meet religious, social and global expectations – woahhhh, that’s a LOT to live up to.

Recently a thing happened ...I was lying in bed reading when my eleven yr old daughter came in and leapt onto the bed. Her dirty eleven yr old feet and rambunctious puppyness rolling over everything...My immediate reaction was to shriek and push her off the bed making some excuse about being peaceful and clean...

ERGHUUGHHHH I REGRETTED MY ACTION instantly! She walked away quietly...yuk yuk yuk....what a shit I was...my mind went back into the story a couple of times but I could find NO real justification for my behaviour. NOW in the past I may have left it there and thought about the situation now and then with REGRET but today I tried something different.

I called my girl back and said ‘I am sorry, that was yukky behaviour I don’t like myself for pushing you away. Can we roleplay? Can you jump on the bed exactly the way you did before so I can try something different? (Kids love roleplay and surprises!)

She leapt on the bed (with even more gusto) I grabbed her and kissed and cuddled her and told her she was beautiful and energetic and then I pushed her off the bed!

This was closer to the expectation I have of myself to be a good and loving mother but at the same time to be an honest person (I don’t really want the kids all over my clean bed!)

So if we can recreate a situation, I believe GO FOR IT, but if you can’t, then don’t waste the now over it. Let it go don’t feed the thing that holds you back from your highest power, your greatest potential and your deepest love!

To learn more about REGRET/EGO and the process that occurs in the body, mind and spirit surrounding this interesting topic go to www.iamspirituality.com  and watch Sean’s simple and captivating video podcast. To learn how to develop emotional Intelligence in your children go to www.theiamprogram.com .

I AM all that Is and all that is, is ME- A Peek Into The Reality Of ONENESS!

We ARE ONE.

You have heard it a million times, seen it twittered so much it's becoming a precursor to therapy. Maybe you've even shared it on facebook, BUT, the question is- do you FEEL it?

That is all there is to it...feeling the oneness. feeling it to a degree that you have nothing to say about it.

In your great moments you know it, you WANT to tell others, shout it, twitter it and sing about it on myspace but you can't.

You can only fiddle with the concepts, draw pictures around the ideas and maybe if your lucky write a poem that makes your heart ache with the being and the desire to express this thing.

When I Look

When I look I become rich

Breathing out................ I see gold

With open eyes the space between is magnified

The irony of separateness unfolds

In space I am whole

A liquid world of intelligent light

Alive with action indiscriminate

Only purpose being

The weave like toffee................. like threads of water

All spices and colours are but a reflection of the truth I see

When I look

Oneness is a physical reality, those who have an understanding of physics will get what I am saying.
We are absolutely connected at the microcosmic level and beyond our accepted perception there is a quantum world of  fabulous possibility.

All this aside only the deep and clear 'feeling' of your connection to all that is will prove to you that we are one.
That's how it works, individually we come to the awareness that we are inseperable from all that is and when that occurs there is no turning back. Slowly, increment by increment oneness becomes an unshakeable reality. Personal responsibility is highlighted as the realisation hits...WE are a GLOBAL MIND! Holy Moly! does that mean that what I think affects the organism that is US...why YES it does.

Does that Mean I need to feel guilty about what I do and think and say and feel.....?
Hmmmm...I think that feeling GUILTY may NOT enhance global consciousness BUT AWARENESS and the consequences of true awareness WILL.

Sometimes I speak about oneness with a passion, my whole being dancing with infinite possiblities.
At other times I forget and get grumpy and curse what is, in an attempt to distract myself from my perfection...why..dunno...sick? insane?

Occasionally I am drawn to share but mostly I am training myself to absorb the knowing and be US the ALLTHAT IS.

Being One, warts and all!

The Attraction Principle- Focus=Manifestation- The Chat Noir

Coffee hot on my tongue and the bustle of a small town outside this tiny french style patisserie, makes my experience almost metrapolitan as I follow my eyes into a poster on the wall.

'Tourne' Du Chat Noir' pulls me into another world. The Black cat's forward gaze transports me and the red background become the walls of Toulouse la Trec's Studio....

The cup touches the saucer in a final gesture tugging me back to the here and now. Kissing Andre' on his sugar dusted cheeks I thank him for a wonderful coffee and step into a kookaburra morning.

But the Chat Noir is still purring! A few clicks on the laptop and I have located my very own poster, even larger than the one in 'The Blue Frog- Patisserie'.

For days I wait patiently, checking the verandah hourly for Australia Post arrivals! Finally the moment comes! I pick up my poster pack only too discover one end has been crumpled in transit.
I slide my cat out with trepidation, WRINKLED! Not too bad, salvageable but a little disappointing. My son walks by at that moment, 'WOW cool poster Mum!. Daniel's eighteen so I feel great knowing he actually likes something I like!

I call the poster company re- the crumpled box and what do you know they happily promise to send me a new one, no questions asked. Surprised again! What a great day, I give Daniel the wrinkled cat poster, he doesn't mind, his whole room is wrinkled!

My new poster turns up fresh and smooth and I hang it on my office wall excitedly anticipating a dream trip to provincial France!

A couple of days later I walk into a local 'Opp shop'. I don't have plans to buy anything, not even sure why I've come in...at first...I bend down to retrieve a shirt that has slipped off the rack.
As I poke the hanger through the neckhole I am SHOCKED to discover that I am holding a brand new Chat Noir T-shirt, the same as my new poster! Needless to say I swagger out of the opp shop $3 poorer but a soul lot richer! I embrace the street with a cheshire grin!

Now I am talking about the Chat Noir even more, imagining the awesomness of the universe, enthusiastically philosophising 24/7!

The miracle of life- Is it really as simple as, focus with emotion equals more of the same experience?

Well when my beautiful friend turns up at my door unexpected my suspicion - that focus with emotion does indeed attract- is confirmed.

Now remember, I haven't seen  nor spoken to Gabriela since my 'visit' to France in the Blue Frog on the delicious morning that I fell in love with the Chat Noir.

'My sister just returned from Paris,' Gabe said 'she brought me back a few things and I thought of you when I saw this.' she slides a coaster across the table and my eyes fall to rest upon a tiny rendition of The Chat Noir! I laugh so hard my chair wobbles- OH MY GOD- The intensity of the realisation, of our ultimate connection to 'all that is' is fierce!

'Fabulous!' I said 'Thankyou!'

Now that is not all! A week later another wonderful friend that had been travelling Europe turns up with a present for me...hmmmm....what could it be....surely you can't be seriously asking that question......

YEP! Small in size but lovely quality, a perfect poster of Toulouse la Trec's 'Tourne' Du Chat Noir!

How did they KNOW?
Why did I choose THAT opp shop?
How come that shirt HAPPENED to have fallen on the floor?
How...WHY.....ha HA!

I will tell you why, because I FELT WONDERFUL when I saw the poster on the wall of the little cafe'. I desired the experience again and there was no resistance in me to attaining that experience, no negative opposition only complete enjoyment and desire. And each time I manifested another black cat I felt even more excited and grateful and mesmerised by the powers in the universal mind and even MORE aligned and jubilant and THAT kept Black Cats rolling in!

My emotion, my focus and my desire were the perfect creative combination.

Do you see how POWERFUL I AM?
Do you realise that we are ONE being interacting with each other at a quantum level at all times?

Next time you doubt your ability to create a wonderful life or produce a better circumstance or even to change a sad feeling into a happy one just remember The Chat Noir and repeat to yourself

 'I HAVE THE POWER!!!'