Anger flares up, out of nowhere at the most irrational things.
I AM standing in my Hapkido class, the instructor (also my husband) grabs my arm expecting me to execute a technique and escape his grip. Anger BURSTS inside my chest!
Being a seasoned feelings witnessor I notice that I wish to throw myself down and curl up, screaming! I want to give up, blame the instructor and express loathing and contempt.
WOW, what an amazing reaction to have to NOTHING. I choose to do martial arts, in fact I LOVE it. And once I push past my initial reactions and do a few techniques I am happy as a larry again! (this happens a lot btw, but I'm working on it!!)
I can only put my my reaction down to early programming, possibly something like- 'DO THIS RIGHT OR ELSE.'
The early expectation to achieve and please programming (done inadvertantly by our parents, teachers, religion) seems to lie at the root of a spectrum of human disorder.
We are so naive and eager to please when the programming takes place, we are certain it is possible to meet these expectations. We believe everything our BIG GODS say (there may be a connection to our personal perception of a creator and our relationship with our parents.....but that's another story) so we assume it is possible to fulfil the unrealistic expectations of others. We feel a sense of betrayal by our SELVES and by our parents when it becomes clear that the task is impossible. Following the betrayal is deep hurt and sadness.
When our sadness is left to fester unexpressed and unaknowledged it becomes resentment and finally bursts out in anger.
Anger is debilitating. Some say it is motivating but I question anger as motivation. The sense of justice that may be there anyway might motivate but anger is a very firey beast and where there is fire there is smoke and smoke clouds vision.
Anger is a painful expression of energy that serves to unbalance the individual, disallowing clarity necessary for solution orientated thinking.
If the body responds in anger then it is an indication that there is an investment or attachment at play. Likely, the attachment is to an unresolved incident from your past rather than an attachment to the actual situation before you now.
People use anger to justify their own bad behaviour and attempt to gain dominance in the moment.
Mostly we are expressing anger at things and situations of which we are completely guilty ourselves.
We bark at dogs to 'SHUT UP!' and then wonder why they bark back!
We bully children into submission- do this or else...and we wonder why our playgrounds are full of bullying.
We feel that if we are able to quieten another's opinion with our anger or threat (anger) then we are justifying our position.
Anger is a protective instinct associated with times of hard living, hand to mouth, ensuring survival in physically challenging conditions.Once upon a time warning sounds or actions that have since got out of hand and become a measure of our sanity.
I know that on a day when I am nourished, hydrated, have had sleep and feel good, my kids can throw most anything at me and I will not be phased.
Have me wake up on the wrong side of the bed, however, forget to nourish and hydrate myself I can soon find myself spiralling into emotional neglect. Anger will take this opportunity to leach into my interactions, making the easy situations of yesterday seem provocative and insurmountable today.
Anger is UNresolved childhood attachments attempting to break free and causing havoc in the process.
Anger needs the guidance of an unconditionally loving parent (you now).
The anger you see everywhere about you, creating terrorism, from the miniscule to the major, is the same fire and emotion that YOU feel when you have forgotten to be centred in the now, when you are breathing shallowly instead of nourishing your body with oxygen and calm, connecting completely to your inner power.
To TRULY live NOW and reach your potential as parents, educators, lovers, workers and friends you MUST address your anger. Acknowledge the feelings as they arise and neutralise the emotional triggers by breathing and forgiving.
The willingness to feel the sadness underneath the angry reaction is paramount, loving the self, caring for the self, forgiving the self and others for your past.
Detach from yesterday, find your space in the now, become aware and let your anger dissolve in the AWESOMENESS that is your life
EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique is excellent for neutralising emotional triggers that cause anger http://www.emofree.com/
To find out how to develop emotional intelligence in your child or classroom please go to http://www.theiamprogram.com/
To learn more about Anger and it's societal ills please check out Sean's easy to understand and compelling podcast at http://www.iamspirituality.com/
Excellent post!
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