REGRET
Is regret real or is it a smokescreen?
Hmmm...regret feels real, smells real and it can completely paralyse the mind. But is it what we think it is?
If I am in the state of ‘regret’ I am in the past I am mulling over the how’s and why’s of what happened and trying to change it in my mind, with my mind.
I am under a FALSE impression that if I examine the situation hard enough, if I put x amount of energy into the cause of the feeling I am having now, I will finally eradicate this feeling and bring peace to my mind and body.
I would like to put forward the notion that we are feeding an addiction to a number of things when we wallow in REGRET.
Distraction...Spending time in the past or for that matter the future is a distraction from the present where ALL things happen.
We are avoiding success and happiness by regretting our past actions and worrying about future possibilities.
In avoiding the present we are also avoiding something integral to an emotionally functional society - ‘connection’.
True connection/ fearless intimacy enables natural cognitive function and mind expansion- solution to ‘problems, awareness/intuition, telepathic ability , command of personal energy extending to and including the health of global consciousness.
Why do we avoid success, happiness and connection? Because of a confusion and a forgetting. BECAUSE we have developed the insane notion that to embrace our full potential means more work....if we give in to our truest self we become responsible for our lives, we can’t pass the buck to our government, our god or our parents anymore. Furthermore we give up the role of victim.
HaHa! Could the role of successful, happy and connected being REALLY be tougher than the role of regretful, dis-easeful victim....? I don’t think so.
Then there is DRAMA...the feeling of intensity and excitement...the burst of hormonal activity that accompanies the reliving of a tale...because let’s face it....the memory is subjective...very little of what you may be replaying actually happened. ..it is a fable, a tale, a fantasy...challenging?
.....AH should I be a little more polite and say little of what you are rehashing happened as your memory perceives it to have happened. So not only are you placing yourself back in the past thus avoiding the now you are constantly adjusting the scenes to give you the biggest hit!
Why do we love the drama? Well we are creative, intense and exciting beings and we think there is no drama in peace and happiness....maybe not, maybe ‘drama’ is a self perpetuating horror movie (surely this becomes boring after a while!)
MAYBE we are confusing the desire for drama with the desire to create, connect, experience and command the emotions of God/life/energy.
We all do this stuff and we do it and we do it..... UNTIL we decide not to. Until we make a choice to try something different, to make a break for it....to dive through the gap and make the deepest intention to bring ourselves back to the now.
Sure acknowledge the past and the feelings that it has brought in for you, feel it heal it and come back! HEY don’t keep on into the future you slippery devil, BACK!! HERE and NOW!
There is a process that occurs in the brain and body at the moment a ‘regretful’ action takes place. A confirmation of a failed expectation if you will; we have an image of the self and what is expected of us based on the values we learned as a child and throughout our lives. This is a strict idea and we can rarely satisfy these expectations.
Herein dwells the idea that we must be a ‘good’ person, follow this set of rules and meet religious, social and global expectations – woahhhh, that’s a LOT to live up to.
Recently a thing happened ...I was lying in bed reading when my eleven yr old daughter came in and leapt onto the bed. Her dirty eleven yr old feet and rambunctious puppyness rolling over everything...My immediate reaction was to shriek and push her off the bed making some excuse about being peaceful and clean...
ERGHUUGHHHH I REGRETTED MY ACTION instantly! She walked away quietly...yuk yuk yuk....what a shit I was...my mind went back into the story a couple of times but I could find NO real justification for my behaviour. NOW in the past I may have left it there and thought about the situation now and then with REGRET but today I tried something different.
I called my girl back and said ‘I am sorry, that was yukky behaviour I don’t like myself for pushing you away. Can we roleplay? Can you jump on the bed exactly the way you did before so I can try something different? (Kids love roleplay and surprises!)
She leapt on the bed (with even more gusto) I grabbed her and kissed and cuddled her and told her she was beautiful and energetic and then I pushed her off the bed!
This was closer to the expectation I have of myself to be a good and loving mother but at the same time to be an honest person (I don’t really want the kids all over my clean bed!)
So if we can recreate a situation, I believe GO FOR IT, but if you can’t, then don’t waste the now over it. Let it go don’t feed the thing that holds you back from your highest power, your greatest potential and your deepest love!
To learn more about REGRET/EGO and the process that occurs in the body, mind and spirit surrounding this interesting topic go to www.iamspirituality.com and watch Sean’s simple and captivating video podcast. To learn how to develop emotional Intelligence in your children go to www.theiamprogram.com .
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