When I am in a state of worry, am I centred in the now with a clear mind and a calm spirit?
The answer is a resounding NO!
Is it possible to truly connect with another being or situation if you are in the past regretting or in the future worrying? NO again!
Being somewhere other than here and now makes it impossible to be soulfully and emotionally connected.
You need energy to care but energy is being used to soothe the ego as it clings desperately to morbid fears and flounders in a sea of self-absorption.
True compassion comes from a courageous and in depth exploration of the personal value system in relation to the external world.
For example- My child is using bullying tactics to manipulate another into behaving as he/she desires.
I can attempt to address the situation as it stands, in ways familiar and comfortable to me, ie- stand over my child and explain the ins and outs of bullying and tell them not to and even yell a bit, possibly with little or no lasting success. (This is how things are generally done!)
OR
I could take the time to examine my life for moments when I have used bullying tactics and manipulation. I can ask myself 'What motivated me to act in this way?' I can explore my judgements around this behaviour, on myself and others. I can see that we ONLY do what we know until we know something more or better, until we discover another way to be! AND then I can approach my child with my new understanding. I can sit down and explain, I can access humility. My child can see and hear and FEEL my integrity and changes begin to miraculously happen!
This idea can be successfully applied to many a context; social, global and personal.
If I am going on about the state of terrorism in the world...'OH the VIOLENCE....THOSE PEOPLE' and then turning around in the next minute from my comfy lounge and hissing at my partner, I am NOT exhibiting true compassion for the global situation I am using/displaying 'False' compassion to make my ego feel important and look like it cares, when in fact it is simply relieved that there is stuff going on in the world that supports it's own inner turmoil!
Ooooh what a tangled web we weave!
If I look at the violence on tv and I think back on my life, acknowledging my own violent attitudes, my racial prejudices and my motivation for these values- re-frustration at not being heard, fear of not being good enough and WORRY for my ego/identity's survival. I will have a humility and an understanding that will make me a true advocate for peace. I will cease to judge so harshly and thus extend clarity of mind into effective solution making and true, helpful compassion. (plus I go on to teach by example all those I then encounter...... seems worth it to me!)
When I am worrying I am giving into a wounded ego. An EGO fraught with the fear of non-existance!
It is interesting to me the lengths we go to support our identity; I AM ARNA and the things I worry about are- my finances, my health, my children, my relationship, my world...etc Lots of 'My's' and 'I's' in that sentence. More than enough worries to keep me cloudy and out of the loop!
Allowing myself to release my attachment to the future and of non-existance, stands me in much better stead to EXIST in a substantial way with true compassion and a YUMMY DOSE OF INTEGRITY!
Yeehah!
To learn about developing emotional intelligence in your children please go to
The I AM Program http://www.theiamprogram.com/
To learn MORE about how to de activate your ego's control in regard to Worry and Fear please visit
I AM Spirituality http://iamspirituality.com/wordpress/
WE CAN CHANGE AND BE HAPPY!
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